To fill you in...

I have been dating boyfriend for 20 months now, in the most emotionally-charged relationship of my life. I fell so fast and so hard (I'm sure someone can feel me here) that I totally lost all reasoning ability and let my emotions get the best of me. Since, I have unconditionally loved and have been devoted to boyfriend, and I have come to realize that our relationship would be near perfect if a few things were different. Here are these things:

Problem 1: This started very fast...we go to the same college and I met him in class. I thought he was adorable and funny and soon we started talking. We went from hardly knowing each other to Facebook official within one week.

Problem 2: Boyfriend is what I would consider a "bad boy"... has done some drugs and likes to party. Not that I mind a party, but I, however, would much rather have a glass of wine and some Harry Potter. Boyfriend was refreshing for me, especially considering my previous relationship was with a 21-year-old who woke up at 6 A.M. to read the paper and check stocks every morning. In the beginning, a little adventure was fun. Now that the puppy love is gone and I am wanting to settle down, the constant partying and immature lifestyle is a definite point of tension.

Problem 3: I am very mature for my age, and he is very immature for his age. If you take my perceived age and subtract his perceived age, the difference is a preteen. This kid doesn't do his laundry, couldn't use an iron to save his life, and could easily survive off TV dinners and beer. Add this to the 5-6 hours of video games he plays per day, and we've got something compared to a babysitting job I had my sophomore year of high school. To make it worse, I'm a nurturer. I enjoy taking care of people and boyfriend.

Problem 4: For the love of God, give me some romance.

Problem 5: Early mistakes make for lasting effects. Boyfriend had some fidelity issues the day we started dating (literally, explained in another post) and later with a chat roulette incident, both of which he was dishonest about. He is most regretful about his decisions and I want to make it clear that I do not believe he would hurt in this way again; however, I do not believe that if someone put him in a sketchy situation he would be able to resist temptation.


So there it is. The basics.

A new way to deal...

Well, hello everyone. Welcome to my online relationship diary. My goal is to create a space to talk about the crazy relationship I've been in for about a year and a half.  My hope is that my thoughts/feelings can resonate with at least someone, and maybe even help someone out. I hope you enjoy and I look forward to hearing your thoughts.
My best,
HA